On Friday night I lost my wallet. My precious Chanel wallet that my mother gifted to me a little over a year ago LOL. I am still so upset about it. I basically lost it while going out, but not even in the venue — OUTSIDE THE VENUE UGH. As disappointed and sad I am about this, this experience has made me realize how blessed I have been so far in my life, if this is one of the worst things to happen to me in a while. Yes, its is quite inconvenient to have to replace all my cards, to lose some cash and to feel guilty about losing an $$$ gift from a loved one, but it could be so much worse. This experience goes to show how much worth I put into materialistic things, comfort, and money. I have been so anxious about losing it — doing everything and anything I can to get it back (though everything is such a stretch lol — like posting on Craigslist, searching lost and founds, checking if anyone posts it locally on fb marketplace, making a police report, calling the venue to see if anyone returned it — I AM PATHETIC IK BUT I AM DESPERATE LMAO)… A part of me has a glimmer of hope that a good samaritan will mail it back to my house using my home address, but maybe I am just expecting too much from humanity. Not going to lie, if this does happen my faith in humanity willbe restored (temporarily), but if not I know I will eventually learn to just let go. Not really sure what the point of this post was… but as my one of my besties put it “It’s okay to have nice things, but we just have to be willing to lose them all to.” Still learning to let go~~~… Ultimately, though I realize how blessed and privileged I am — I’m just in a state of inconvenience that may feel like the end of the world, but it really is not… right?
I know how superficial and privileged I sound. It bothers me how much my freakin’ wallet has a hold on me. Writing it out like this makes me realize even more how pathetic and dramatic I sound haha… It’s been 3 days I should be over it by now, but every time I think about the what if’s and dwell on it, I get so down in the dumps… and start snowballing into very negative, very anxious thoughts. Teach me how to let go and really learn from this experience. This has truly been a wake up call to how dependent I am towards things of this world :(
